Relax in My Pain...Are you Crazy?
The morning light streamed through my blinds, casting a soft glow on Shana’s face as she clutched a throw pillow to her chest. Her stormy eyes brimmed with emotions, and it was only a matter of time before the first tear fell.
She bit her lower lip, looking away. After years as a therapist, I recognized the signs. The anguish, the hesitancy, the desperate attempt to hold it together. She snatched a tissue and began.
“I gave my heart, and where did it get me? He took everything and left me with nothing.”
I remained silent, letting her find her way through the pain.
“Guy, you always talk about taking risks, about faith. But I can’t. It hurts too much.”
“Tell me more.”
“I gave him the best years of my life. I gave him everything—children, my heart, my trust. And he walked out on me. For her.” Her breath hitched, her body trembling with sobs.
Embracing the Ache
“Shana, you must embrace the ache and let it do its work.”
Her gaze hardened. “I have, and it’s ripped me apart. I’ll never trust again. It’s not worth it.”
I leaned in. “Would it surprise you if I told you I’ve walked this path with countless others, and those who chose to let the pain do its work experienced a deep release?”
She exhaled sharply. “I’m tired of pain. I’m done.”
I waited, allowing her to sit in her sorrow. God’s whisper guided me: Do not give her answers. Let her seek Me. I am the Counselor.
Shana clenched her fists. “What does she have that I don’t? Why did he leave? All I have left are crumbs of my heart.”
An Inexhaustible Source of Power
“You have more than a crumb. You have an inexhaustible source of power that makes all things new.”
Her puffy eyes held a flicker of curiosity. “Don’t give me false hope. I prayed, and God did nothing.”
The Enemy’s Lies
“The enemy wants you to believe two lies: that God doesn’t protect and God doesn’t provide. He wants you to think you’re alone. You have to do this by yourself.
But that’s a trap. As you harden your heart, you become spiritually blind. You seek comfort in things apart from God. The Accuser wants you to believe that God isn’t trustworthy so that you live in despair.”
He Dwells in You
Revelation 21:3-4 reminds us: “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people… He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.”
“Shana, this world is not our home.”
What Do I Do Now?
She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I can’t wait for heaven. I need help now. What do I do?”
“Empty yourself and believe.”
“In Philippians 2:6-7, when it says Jesus emptied himself, it means He submitted to the power of the Holy Spirit and the Father’s will. Once I emptied myself, I found peace in trusting God’s sovereignty.”
She hesitated. “Are you saying if I trust Him with my pain, I’ll experience peace, joy, and love?”
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” —1 John 4:18
Don’t Resist—Relax in Your Pain
“Let Him love you in your pain. Don’t resist. Empty yourself and allow Him to take care of your heart.”
Her brows furrowed. “Are you crazy? Relax in my pain?”
“You have a choice. You can ruminate on how you were wronged or move toward acceptance.”
She flared. “I will never accept what he did.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to accept that God is working through your pain, even when you can’t see it.”
She crossed her arms. “If God loves me, why did He let this happen?”
God Didn’t Do This to You
“This is not our home. Sin entered the world in the Garden of Eden. Your husband chose selfishness. You can either stay locked in hate or release it.”
Release Through Confession
“What do you mean by release?”
“Confess.”
She recoiled. “I was faithful! How dare you?”
“I’m not talking about the affair. I’m talking about choosing self-protection over-dependence on God. When we choose our own way, we break fellowship with Him. Confession restores that fellowship.”
She scoffed. “You want me to forgive him? Never. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“Did you deserve forgiveness when Christ died for you?”
“That’s different.”
“Really?”
Her shoulders slumped.
Time Doesn’t Heal All —Truth Does
“I want to hold onto my anger,” she admitted. “I don’t trust that this will change how I feel.”
“Shana, time doesn’t heal wounds. His Truth does.”
She sighed. “What if I get hurt again?”
“You always have a choice: trust in yourself or trust in Him.”
Spiritual Altitude
I smiled. “It’s called spiritual altitude—seeing from 30,000 feet. You’ll see the bigger picture, the purpose in your suffering, and how you can help others.”
She wiped her face. “I guess it’s worth a try.”
“His love makes it worth it all.”
Give Your Life Away
As she left, I thanked Jesus for His patience with me. So many times, I had pushed Him away in my pain, and He gently drew me back.
You have more than a crumb left in your heart. You have an inexhaustible source of Living Water within you. Give that away to someone who is thirsty.
“He who seeks to save his life will lose it, but those who seek to give away their life will save it.” —Luke 17:33
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